Stewie Griffin: First class and no class.īrian Griffin: Whoa, careful with that joke. Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin: We've traveled a bit and we fooooound/ Like a masocist in Newport/We're Rhode Island bound.īrian Griffin: Crazy travel conditions huh?
Stewie Griffin: How dare you, at least I don't leave urine stains on all the household plants. Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin: We're off on the road to Rhode Island/ We're certainly going in style/īrian Griffin: I'm with an intellectual who craps inside his pants/ Stewie Griffin: Yes, and your breasts don't reach your knees. Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin: We're off on the road to Rhode Island/We're having the times of our livesīrian Griffin: We're quite a bit of partners just like Velma and Louise/Except you're not six feet tall/ Rogers: But now it's time for you to meet Mr. Stewie Griffin: Eh, what, what? What the devil? Stewie Griffin: How ironic ? Rogers - it almost rhymes with. Rogers ? Fred - may as well drop blood formalities - I'm going to kill you anyway! Rogers, I dare say you find it quite in ruins. Stewie Griffin: I wouldn't bother visiting the neighborhood of make-believe today Mr. Stewie Griffin: Actually it's your mortal enemy Stewie. Rogers: Oh! I think I hear a friend traveling. Peter Griffin: Can't touch me/ STOP, Peter time/ I'm a big shot, there's no doubt/ light a fire then pee it out/ Don't like it, kiss my rump/ Just for a minute, let's all do the bump/ Can't touch me/ Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump/ Can't touch me/ I'm Presidential Peter/ Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot/ I've been around the world/ from Hartford to Back Bay/ It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way/ Can't touch me. Can't Touch Me/ Can't Touch me/ Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy/ from Lethal Weapon 2/ I've got diplomatic Immunity/ so Hammer, you can't sue/ I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets/ I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat/ Can't touch me/ Can't touch me/Īdam West: What in God's name is he doing? Stewie Griffin: And I like that singer who looks like a whore /īrian Griffin, Stewie Griffin: We're too different to ever be pals / Stewie Griffin: I've a style flair / Just look at my hip hairīrian Griffin: Oh yeah, that - that's quite a nice do there /īrian Griffin: For me to POOP on!īrian Griffin: Oh, come on! You look like Charlie Brown!īrian Griffin, Stewie Griffin: There's not / A whole lot / That we've got / To agree onīrian Griffin: 'Cause I love the strings of a classical score / Stewie Griffin: Oh, you're one to talk! You get a stiffy from Felicia Rashad / Stewie Griffin: So does everyone else! That is *exactly* the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at one in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder!īrian Griffin, Stewie Griffin: You and I are / So awfully different / Too awfully different / To ever be palsīrian Griffin: Yeah, I'll go! Your favorite hero is the Marquis de Sade / Plow." Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? Stewie Griffin: Ha! I've got your hat! Take that, Hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hacky-sack tournee! I'm not going to lie down for some frat-boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal bandits and his Abercrombie & Fitch long-sleeved, open-stitch, crew-neck Henley smoking his sticky-buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded "Simpsons" episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Stewie Griffin: Wha- you- Girlfriend? Oh, what kind of sick, twisted game are you playing at? Jeremy: So you're the guy who's been trying to steal my girlfriend! Must I lock up your tongue with the rest of the silver? Glen Quagmire: Oh, Come on, this is getting ridiculous!
Peter Griffin: Same thing except with a chick from JoAnn Fabrics. Joe Swanson: I never picked up an illegal alien from Home Depot to take me home and choke me while I touch myself. Peter Griffin: Oh, God, what else is there? I never gave a reach around to a spider monkey while reciting the pledge of allegiance. Peter Griffin: I never did a chick in the Logan airport bathroom. Joe Swanson: I got one - I never slept with Cleveland's wife. You gotta drink if you never did the thing the person says they did.Ĭleveland: I got one - I never slept with a woman with the lights on. Peter Griffin: Hey, let's play a game called "I never".